The Brew Noob

@capcatchers:

A wedding for REAL beer lovers:

We have come together today to witness and celebrate the union of ___________ and __________ in loving matrimony. 

Your decision to unite your lives into one is fitting and right if there is love in your hearts.

Water is the essence of life, but when water is combined with grains, hops and yeast, the outcome is glorious beer. So too shall be the product of your union. It is an unselfish union between beer’s basic ingredients that makes the finished product truly magical. It is an unselfish union of beer’s ingredients that makes beer truly magnificent. So too will be your marriage. Love is the water of your beer. Trust is the grain that will give your marriage its character and strength. Passion, like hops, will add fragrance and spice to your life together. Your commitment to one another is the yeast that acts as the catalyst to make this glorious union—this metaphysical wonder—possible.

Now that the yeast has been added and the fermentation of your love has begun, there are vast changes ahead. Open your hearts wider than they have ever been opened before and rise up to meet these changes. Open your mouths and throats wider than they have ever been opened before and consume these changes. Let them fill your spirits and intoxicate your souls. Abandon all previous disappointments and past events that may have held you back and look toward your future with one fresh spirit, with one fresh love, with one fresh beer.

When you say to the other “I love you” what you are saying is “Your happiness is everything to me and I want only the best for you always.” When you say to the other “I love you” what you are saying is “I am part of you and you are part of me. 

Together we unite into a greater love and vision.” When you say to the other, “I love you,” what you are saying is, “Without you, I am only water. But with you, I am beer.”

Life really is a huge adventure. An experiment. When your heart and spirit call you, follow just to see what awaits you. Do not be afraid to satisfy your longings with new and different experiences. Do not be afraid to quench your thirst with new and different beer.

Now you look to your future and what you will create together. Indeed it will be an adventure - a beautiful lifelong experiment. I ask you to think of yourselves as brew masters. Your finished product will be your life together. Work together to make your life into one very good beer that both of you cherish. Work together to create something that is worthy of your love for one another and your love for beer.

Vows: (to be read to each person and repeated by them)

HIM: With love in my heart and for the entire world to see

I offer you my hand to hold forever

I promise to love, honor, cherish and respect you

To encourage you and stand by you no matter what may come

I will tenderly care for you for all of my life

And I will be your best friend forever

From this day forward, my heart will be your home

______________ will you be my wife?

(Answer with “I will”)

HER: With love in my heart and for the entire world to see

I offer you my hand to hold forever

I promise to love, honor, cherish and respect you

To encourage you and stand by you no matter what may come

I will tenderly care for you for all of my life

And I will be your best friend forever

From this day forward, my heart will be your home

_____________ will you be my husband?

(Answer with “I will”)

Now you will feel no rain, for each of you will be shelter to the other.

Now you will feel no cold, for each of you will be warmth to the other.

Now there is no more loneliness, for each of you will be companion to the other.

Now you are two bodies, but there is only one life before you.

And may your days be good and long upon the earth.

(Minister presents the rings to bride and groom)
These rings represent the shared union into which you both now enter. These rings are the outer symbol of your inner love and the promises that you have made today.

(He says to her while placing ring on her finger)

HER NAME, I offer you this ring as a symbol of my love

(She says to him while placing ring on his finger)

HIS NAME, I offer you this ring as a symbol of my love

Your two hearts now beating as one, your two souls now deeply joined anew - walk forward together, forever hand in hand, forever beer in hand. May your marriage be a lifelong celebration of love! All promises having been given and accepted, I ask that each of you and your marriage be blessed forever.

As a legally ordained minister authorized by the state of ___________, and by virtue of my role as a Beer Church minister, it is my right, privilege and honor to pronounce you husband and wife.